Is Sisy Chen a liar, an amateurish thaumaturge, or both?

Let her own words and Occam's razor tell us

Taiwan president Chen Shui-bian is suing Little Bo Peep cosplayer Sisy Chen for allegations she made that the president is planning to use Taiwan's "Air Force One" to flee the country with his valuables during a desperation-reeking drive to oust him by the soulless Shih Ming-teh. He should have sued her immediately after the 2004 election when she lied about an imaginary "nurse" at Chimei Hospital who supposedly told her that the president's shooting the day before the election was "faked."

It's an ugly illusion
In Saturday's Taipei Times, Sisy "explained" her allegations -- some of which are demonstrably false, others which she apparently pulled them directly out of thin air. Here's how that paper relates Sisy's fussing:

"The president hasn't used Air Force One before. The last time he visited Palau, he used China Airlines. It's surely an issue of concern as to why he has chosen Air Force One this time," she said.

She said that she had listed four possible reasons why the president would choose Air Force One, of which transporting his valuables was only one.

"I said that the president may be planning to make surprise transit visits on the excuse of refueling Air Force One, avoiding any possible demonstrations, transporting his valuables and the need of being accompanied by people involved in the alleged embezzlement of state funds," she said.

Or maybe there's a teapot floating in space around the sun that was placed there by Louis Armstrong when he played his trumpet on the moon!*

There's a bunch of BS up her sleeves
The unlimited possiblities include many which are quite the opposite of what Sisy claims, so let's just take a look at the one about "avoiding any possible demonstrations" for the moment, shall we?

First, we already know that demonstrations will be occurring. Second, the plan for these demonstrations was announced on August 12, 2006.

Yet, the July 29, 2006 edition of the Taipei Times tells us that "Taiwan will hold its first ever summit with its six Pacific island allies in Palau in early September" and that " President Chen Shui-bian (陳水扁) will be making his third trip to the Pacific in two years for the Sept. 4 summit." That simple fact makes Sisy's "possibility" an impossibility, which in turn makes her a liar.

Emptiest hat ever
But let's focus in further. Sisy says that the last time the president went to Palau he flew China Airlines and this his choice to fly Air Force One was "an issue of concern." I think Sisy's mental capacity may be "an issue of concern." As I just mentioned, the big difference in this trip is that President Chen will be attending the "first ever summit with [Taiwan's] six Pacific island allies." Could that possibly justify the use of Air Force One?

Sisy tried to downplay her lying by claiming that what she said was merely "reasonable conjecture." That would certainly hinge on a reasonable definition of "reasonable."

Ladies and gentlemen, Sisy Chen is no David Copperfield. All you have to do is pay attention and have the ability to remember back to her last outrageous illusion, and her smoke, mirrors, and Little Bo Peep costume will disappear before your very eyes. Ew!

PS: Sunday morning's papers brought us some contradictory information. The China Post asserts that "the time will be announced soon pending the exact timetable of activities to be adopted by President Chen," while the Taipei Times said that "Taipei police authorities have refused permission for Shih's sit-in to be held around the clock," despite earlier reports in which Taipei mayor Ma Ying-jeou "hinted that this application was approved because the country's public assembly law does not set any time limit on protest activities." TV reports on Sunday afternoon, however, showed that Shih Ming-teh's minions were still "rehearsing" for his "sit-in," and spokesperson Ho De-fen had told viewers watching TV on Saturday night that the "Nelson Mandela of his own imagination" wants to have showers. Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose?

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Diagnoses: Taiwan, 台灣, Chen Shui-bian, A-bian, 陳水扁, Chen Wen-qian, Sisy Chen, 陳文茜, Shih Ming-teh, 施明德

Cross-posted at It's Not Democracy, It's A Conspiracy!